I don't know why I keep putting myself in these situations.
Last time I spoke to the infamous Boy, he was "transitioning to settling down". Being the person that I am, I respected that because I would want the same respect for my relationship. So how is it that he has 2 days to spend IMing me. Mind you, I am not completely innocent. I am aware of his situation and I didn't call him on it. To be honest, he will always be that person that gets to me. I love him and I will take whatever time that I can get from him. The thing is that he knows that as well. I've been ridiculously honest with him. He knows that I still care for him and it hurts to think that he's taking advantage of that because he's bored or his girlfriend isn't available.
Once again, I can see all of this happening and still I do nothing. If this were any of my other friends, I would have told her to stop taking the calls because she deserves to be more than the old comfortable shoe. I know that I deserve to be more than the old comfortable shoe. But I love him… or maybe this is a case of acute infatuation and obsession. Who knows?
What I do know is that when the phone rings and his face pops up on the screen (yes, I still have his contact in my phone with a photo), I can't not pick up. When I get that message alert and see his name, I can't not reply. When he tells me that he has to go and he'll call back later, I can't not help but hope that he actually calls back.
I thought that I was over this. I thought that I was over him.
